Suchitoto No. 3 (or: How to Conduct Your Lovelife Over Social Media)

Hello everyone, 

So, as you know, I'm going to be teaching a meditation class here, and the whole debacle will be starting tomorrow.

Here is the flyer - it took me two hours to write this, so you can imagine how long it has taken me to write eight weeks worth of meditations into Spanish. 

I had to ¨sell¨ meditation a lot differently than the way it is sold in the west. In Australia/USA  it´s all about connecting with universal energy and finding a union with your true, authentic, spiritual self etc etc (eye roll).  I couldn´t get away with any of that stuff here, because people would probably think it was a cult. So, the flyer says that meditation is a simple type of relaxation practice that can help you to reduce stress levels and feel calmer. 

                                                  

I was putting the flyers up today in a few places around town. When I went into the women's sewing cooperative they asked if I could come and run a special little "grupito" for them once a week, at 7.30am! 

That class should be VERY interesting; I will be rolling out of bed, half asleep, to teach something I have never taught in a language I can't speak to a group of rural women whose conversation is made up of 99.9% El Salvadorean slang. Someones stress levels may be lowered, but they certainly won´t be mine. 

In other news, I got a three-month visa extension and went to the capital for the day, which looked a bit like this...

                           

And this (very like the USA)...

                         

I also bought a restaurant then went on an acid trip and painted it... 

                         

Then I went to the beach for a week to hang out with my little friend. I'm not sure what is in that bottle, but I suspect it's something a bit stronger than milk...(undies on the outside of tracksuit pants is always a bit of a giveaway).

                      

My spanish conversation teacher, Marvin, has turned out to have a crazy love life that is carried out primarily through email, text and Facebook. After spending 2 months practicing my Spanish with him, I've realized that El Salvador is the only country in the world whose soap operas are an understated reflection of what  goes on in daily life.

 A few weeks before Christmas he got on Facebook to make a passionate declaration to the love of his life, saying that he would be with her FOREVER, for ETERNITY, and would be buying a house with her in San Salvador where they would live together FOREVER for ETERNITY, etc etc.  

I thought she had hacked into his Facebook account and written it as a joke, but no, it was all him. (What better place could there be to declare your eternal love for your girlfriend of three weeks than on Facebook? There's no way that can backfire.) 

Then, a week later, around Christmas I was on Facebook and read, ¨I cannot believe that the love of my life is prepared to travel this world alone, and without me.¨  And, the next morning: ¨I have come to a momentous decision in my life; I will continue on with my family and my new baby.¨

A casual reader of Marvin´s facebook page might think, ¨Wow, the love of his life is all over the shop! First she´s buying a house with him, next week she´s traveling the world without him, and the next day she´s having his baby?! WTF?¨   

The ¨love of Marvin´s life¨ was all over the shop, but that is because she was three seperate women. Here is the crazy rundown, in a very brief synopsis...

Week 1 Marvin is in love with Ilsia, his girlfriend of three weeks and planning to buy a house with her. 

Week 2 Marvin´s ex-partner, Carly, announces she is 4 months pregant (to him). Ilsia dumps him...

Or does she?

Week 3 

Day 1 Ilsia tells Marvin (on Facebook) that she is pregnant to her ex-boyfriend. But, she doesn´t want to marry her ex-boyfriend, she wants to marry Marvin.

Day 2 Marvin finds out that Ilsia is lying about being pregnant to someone else to try to force him to get back with her. (WTF? How does that even work?)

Day 3 Marvin falls in love with Sarah, a beautiful American backpacker. I know this because he sends her an email asking to be her fiance (after knowing her for 24 hours) and she screams and shows me.

Day 4 Sarah rejects Marvin and the perfect place to share this rejection is on his Facebook wall: ¨I can´t believe the love of my life is content to travel this world alone, without me...¨

Day 5 Marvin gets back together with his pregnant ex, Carly, resumes his ¨family life¨ and announces it on Facebook.

THE END. 

Or is it...?

Week 7
I am at the beach and receive an email saying that a certain person is in love with ME. He gets avery curt email back saying that I am five years older than his mother (to be fair to both of us she had him at 13), and please $%&/ off. 

THE END

In other less dramatic news, I´ve been doing a bit of decorating in my bedroom...